{"id":177,"date":"2017-05-01T07:00:58","date_gmt":"2017-05-01T07:00:58","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lucyrutherford.co.uk\/?post_type=blog_post&p=177"},"modified":"2017-07-20T20:35:10","modified_gmt":"2017-07-20T20:35:10","slug":"unopened-letter","status":"publish","type":"blog_post","link":"https:\/\/lucyrutherford.co.uk\/index.php\/blog-post\/unopened-letter\/","title":{"rendered":"Unopened Letter"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Moon<\/a><\/p>\n

Walking along the seafront in Brighton is always inspirational and I never forget to be grateful for the privilege in living here. Weird and wonderful always happens!<\/p>\n

This week I happened to be a close second to the recycling bin lorry and noticed an envelope that had possibly escaped the collection. My eyes were on the ground as every dog owner is not as assiduous as they should be and I wasn\u2019t looking for a procrastination opportunity of shoe cleaning! Now this envelope was unopened so I picked it up. It\u2019d been raining a few hours before and the paper was dampish. The name and address were typed and the house was 4 doors away. Maybe the postie had dropped it. So I went up the rather overgrown path and popped the letter in the letter box.<\/p>\n

Being the curious soul that I am though I just wanted to know what that letter said and what the owner might have missed. So I finished my walk and came home and wrote this.<\/p>\n

Please let me know what you think and if you\u2019ve had inspiration from an unopened letter. #noseyparker<\/p>\n

Paper Tigers<\/strong><\/p>\n

When she got home from work there were usually two things waiting behind the front door requiring Bernadette Brennan’s attention. The first was her spectacularly stout ginger cat Geoffrey, and the other was the post which was scattered randomly beneath his substantial furry trousers. This evening was no exception, and as she let herself in, they both lay in wait. Bending down, Bernadette stroked the cat as he desperately butted her hand knocking the letters from her fingers.<\/p>\n

\u2018Ah it\u2019s yourself. And how\u2019s my lovely boy then? How\u2019s my Geoffrey? All that purring tells me you\u2019re pleased to see me. Don\u2019t burst your sides now. Just let me pick these letters up and off the mat. Jesus, it\u2019s a long way down and twice as far up again. Look at them all there. You\u2019re the lucky one Geoffrey, no one sends you any nasty bills do they? You don’t have any worries that a bowl of cat food can’t put right, and I envy you that right enough. All these brown envelopes and the ones with red writing on them look as if they are ready to bite. It\u2019s getting so as I can hardly get in the door for them all over the floor. Why does that postman never deliver anything nice I wonder?<\/p>\n

Shall we have our tea before we open them? We don\u2019t want to learn any bad news on an empty stomach do we? I’ll not forget how my insides were churning the afternoon when I came in from the library and saw John\u2019s letter on the table. I’d hardly been gone any time at all, so it he’d obviously had it all worked out well in advance. The coward. I felt sick to my stomach just at the sight of it. Well, it wasn’t going to be good was it? You were half sitting on it Geoffrey, weren\u2019t you? I\u2019ll bet you didn\u2019t really want me to see what he\u2019d written, and to be honest, your little bum, crusty though it is, was the nicest thing on that letter.<\/p>\n

Even before I saw that envelope, I\u2019d noticed the feeling of emptiness in the house. Without looking round the rooms I knew he\u2019d taken his stuff – the atmosphere just felt different. I didn\u2019t need to see the razor gone from the bathroom to feel its absence. Men don\u2019t really have much anyway, except the secrets in their heads.<\/p>\n

It wasn\u2019t as if John had made much of an impression in all those years of marriage, aside from those on the settee cushions. The dents were still there the day he left, and so was the pen he\u2019d written the letter with. Its cap had come off and left a stain on the yellow velvet, and to think he\u2019d always moaned about your hairs Geoffrey, and yet he always made much more of a mess. The newsprint was the worst, black marks everywhere. I just wonder why he put the note in an envelope. It looked so formal and was so unnecessary. It wasn\u2019t as if anyone else would have read it, and he didn\u2019t even lick or fold the top down. Just left it open like all the questions I had.\u00a0 He’d written my name \u2018Bernadette\u2019 and underlined it with a hard final stroke.<\/p>\n

Well now here’s me chattering on and all the time you’re wishing I’d just get you something to eat. What do you think? Shall we have tuna for our tea? That’s decided then, so I\u2019ll open the tin \u2013 its dolphin friendly evidently – and I think I\u2019ll have my half with salad and you can have yours just as it is. That\u2019s how you like it, isn\u2019t it Geoffrey? Mind you, I don\u2019t need to worry about having lettuce and cucumber to lose weight now as it\u2019s all dropped off since John left. I don\u2019t have to cook any more big meals to try and impress him, eh Geoffrey? But you loved all those tasty scraps didn\u2019t you? We never let on how much you had did we? It was our little secret right up until we had your regular check-up with the vet, who then tells me that you\u2019ve put on a little tiny bit of weight. Of course I defended you and said there was just more of you to love, but she just looked cross and said I should watch your waistline.\u00a0 I don\u2019t know what cats should weigh, but after she put you on the scales she said twenty two pounds was morbidly obese, and we should be looking at a target weight of ten pounds. Do you remember her butting in again when I talked about your bones being big, and then she had the cheek to make personal remarks about you having a sagging under-carriage.She told me I was killing you with kindness and that being a nutritional overachiever was not a good thing in an older cat. So it\u2019s just tuna tonight and no cream. It\u2019s for your own good she said, and right enough it did take two of us to squeeze you back into the cat basket.<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/em>There now, I’ll put your bowl on the table next to mine and you can tell me all about your day while we eat and I’ll just take a little look at these letters. So what have we got today?<\/p>\n

Oh see this Geoffrey! There’s good news apparently!\u00a0 Readers Digest have pleasure in informing us that we\u2019ve won the prize draw, so I\u2019ll send off for that tomorrow and we\u2019ll be laughing then, won\u2019t we? After buying all their magazines and books I reckon we’re due a bit of luck. Now what\u2019s the other one? Oh dear, its a gas bill. That\u2019s not so good. I must try and change our provider, but I’m not sure how to go about it. Money is so tight now John’s gone. I’m not entitled to any maintenance and my little job doesn’t bring in much, so the old bills are mounting up, so they are. I don’t really want to turn the thermostat down as you like the warmth and I feel the cold more than I used to now I\u2019m alone. Not that John would ever cuddle me, I always had you for warmth Geoffrey, but since being on my own I seem to notice the cold more, it can go right to the bones and I haven\u2019t got a nice fur coat like you.\u2019<\/p>\n

Sighing, Bernadette pushed her plate towards the cat.<\/p>\n

\u2018Do you want my tuna Geoffrey? I can\u2019t manage it all, what with everything. Go on then and help yourself, but don\u2019t bolt it or else you\u2019ll be sick. Bit like me, always feeling queasy these days. I think I\u2019ll fancy some food and then when I\u2019ve got it all ready, it doesn\u2019t seem so nice. But that\u2019s where you come in isn\u2019t it Geoffrey, and help me out?<\/p>\n

The cat immediately started to devour it with astonishing alacrity, pausing only to rest one oversized paw on a lettuce leaf to steady himself.<\/p>\n

\u2018Now what\u2019s this last letter? Oh dear, it looks like it\u2019s from the hospital.\u00a0 See if I tip the window up I can see a patient number. It\u2019s also been sent first class. Wonder if it’s bad news. They don\u2019t usually send you anything first class unless there’s something wrong. I should never have had those tests done. I was only a bit run down, which is only to be expected isn\u2019t it? Having your husband leave you is what they call a ‘life crisis’, isn’t it? Some people get depressed and go off their food and just sit around and I think that what’s happened to me. Plus I’m at that sort of age where women don’t always feel their best, and you just have to learn to put up with it.\u00a0 Geoffrey, why do you think that a buff envelope looks so sinister? Is it really so much cheaper for them to use than a white one, which looks much kinder?<\/p>\n

I’ll tell you what, let\u2019s leave this pushy first class envelope on the table while I make some tea. What\u2019s the hurry?\u2019<\/p>\n

Bernadette poured a good half pint of red wine into a big china mug for herself, and double cream into a saucer for the cat. She drank the wine quickly.<\/p>\n

\u2018Nice strong cup of tea. Think I\u2019ll have another.\u2019 She topped her mug up from the bottle. Bending close to the cat\u2019s ear she whispered.<\/p>\n

\u2018Now Geoffrey, it seems to me that if I open this letter from the hospital it could be bad news, couldn\u2019t it? I can see from your big green eyes that you\u2019re worried, and that\u2019s the last thing I want. What if on the other hand I don\u2019t open it? We don’t need to know do we? In the end what difference does it make? I\u2019d rather be well and I\u2019m well now. You only know you\u2019re not well when they tell you. That\u2019s right, isn\u2019t it Geoffrey?\u00a0 Oh dear, that tuna has gone right to my head, I\u2019m feeling a bit woozy. Are you listening, my little furry friend? They\u2019re always making mistakes and worrying people unnecessarily. They give you all kinds of treatment that you don\u2019t need, your hair falls out and then you feel much worse.<\/p>\n

They\u2019ve probably written to say the tests were okay anyway, so there’s no point opening it. Especially as they might have made a mistake, I expect. It could even be a false positive like when they thought I was pregnant all those years ago and I wasn\u2019t. Look at all the fuss that caused.<\/p>\n

Anyway Geoffrey, let\u2019s not worry about these doctors. You aren\u2019t overweight, and I\u2019m fit and healthy. Everything\u2019s just fine, so let’s just put this letter in the drawer with the other ones.\u2019<\/p>\n

Bernadette picked up the corkscrew and poised it over a new bottle of Merlot, \u2018I think I’ll just see if there’s some more tea in this pot.\u2019 \u00a9<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\"Signed<\/a><\/p>\n

Lucy\u00a0<\/a>writes about injustice and quite often revenge. Having worked in the criminal justice system as a criminologist she feels that very often the victims are forgotten.<\/p>\n

Her writing gives a voice to those who often say \u2018it isn\u2019t fair\u2019 and who don\u2019t get heard.
\nLucy\u2019s second book\u00a0The Sun God\u2019s Daughter\u00a0<\/em>will be taking that to a new level.<\/p>\n

She lives in Brighton and Hove which she claims is a never ending source of material and characters.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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